One Man's Field

Boys, I have coached most of you for years now, and I want you to know that I have never been more proud than when you lost 16-60 this past weekend.  You heard that right.  When the opposing coach, up by more than forty points, told his team to play “without restraint” you continued to play with it. That is more important than any win.  Quick vocab lesson since I am an English teacher: Restraint is a noun. It means self-control. Staying under control is one of the most important lessons games like flag football can teach you. Not exercising control is what leads to penalties in games and all sorts of bad things in the real world.  While the other team continued to launch passes to the endzone, and comments across the line of scrimmage, you maintained control. The one moment it boiled over, you immediately apologized. You showed restraint, and that is why I am proud.  You are going to face stuff like that your whole lives. You are going to come across people who think winning is more im

It was my father’s wish that there be no funeral service when he passed away. We are honoring that wish by having a small private ceremony with his wife, his kids, and his grandchildren. Still, I wanted to share some thoughts about my dad as we celebrate his remarkable life. Some will say my father has died . Others will say he has been lost . Maybe it is the English teacher in me that rejects both of those terms. Neither one is accurate. Died is just too permanent: to have stopped living . My grandfather’s life ended when I was seventeen, and I reached out to him just the other day. Out for a run, asking for his firefighter strength to bear me up, I swear I felt him. I believe he was right there with me as I tried to navigate the challenges of the past week, as I tried to help his daughter weather the conclusion of a fifty year long love story. I have had conversations with him all throughout the three decades since that day. In my life he has remained very much alive. Lost

It has become a tradition to end the year with my seniors by writing speeches. Each student writes a commencement speech to deliver to the rest of the class, and I write one as well. Here is my message to this year's graduating class, who are headed out into a world that desperately needs their intellect, creativity, empathy, and passion.  This year, for the first time, I also made a recorded version posted to YouTube. You watch that  here  or read the transcript below. Feel free to share.  Fourth marking period is normally my favorite marking period with seniors. I can jettison diction, and due dates, and debate skills and just chat about where you are going next year, what you hope to become. I lean on my desk after class, the smell of fresh cut grass wafting through windows on waves of heat, and hear about your dreams taking shape. Your excitement reverberates off the cinderblock. Your energy hums louder than the fluorescent lights. In the minutes between classes we tal

Like any job, there are days as a teacher when I wonder if I am just wasting my time. Then there are days like today, when I say goodbye to a class of seniors who remind me through their character, intelligence, and grace why I keep coming back.  In the tradition I started several years ago, my seniors ended their year by delivering ten minute long commencement speeches. Every year, I write one as well. Here is this year's.  This is the last time I will see you before you walk out onto that field Monday evening for a ceremony that recognizes not just your completion of four years of school, but the completion of the first phase of your life. While I am sure there is some sadness and maybe some anxiety, I hope there is also powerful mix of pride, expectation, and joy as you walk together out to that field. I hope you see in that ceremony the promise a future entirely of your own making. Others have run your life up to this point. Not anymore. Based on average life spans, you wil

I haven't written anything on this site for some time. I have found a few editors willing to pay me to write, so I have been putting a lot of my efforts into those opportunities. One of my favorite publications is a relatively new magazine based out of Vermont called State14. I was fortunate enough to be featured in their most recent print magazine with a story I wrote called "In Search of Dragons: Tales of a Middle-Aged Mountain Biker." I hope you will take a minute to check it out. The link is below. In Search of Dragons

“ Well, she DID break the rules ,” some people are saying. This past Saturday, Serena Williams was penalized in ways that were unprecedented for a Grand Slam final. Some want to spin the narrative that technically Serena deserved what she got. That is an oversimplification that needs more careful thought. Her first warning for coaching was justified, technically , by the fact that her coach was indeed gesturing for her to go to the net. Set aside for now the fact that men are rarely, if ever, called for similar behavior. Her second infraction, resulting in a point deduction, was for smashing her racket. She did. The Grand Slam rulebook defines “verbal abuse” as any statement about an official that “implies dishonesty or is derogatory, insulting or otherwise abusive.” So for her third infraction -- calling Ramos a “liar” and a “thief” -- she technically broke that rule resulting in a game deduction late in the second set. What people need to acknowledge is how sexism and racis