Skip to main content

28,740.1

Happy New Year everyone.  I only have 14,583 days to live. 

According to the most generous statistics I could find, the average life span for a human born in the developed world is 78.74 years.  That is 28,740.1 days.  Think about that for a second.  30,000 miles on a car is pretty close to a new car.  30,000 dollars in a retirement account will leave you destitute.  30,000 people is the population of a small town.  30,000 words is the length of the average young adult novel.  To travel 30,000 feet would not even take you six miles from your home.  30,000 days is about all most people get; I have already lived 14,157 of mine. 

I came across that fact while reading a book called The Humans.  When the character stated it, it was like I had just been knocked sideways out of my chair.  Incredulously, I pulled out my iPhone to check the math on the calculator and stared at the bleak truth.  Then for quite some time I just sat there.  That is a tiny little number.  Sure, I am a healthy guy.  I hope to outstrip that number, but either way, it is not a lot of time.  In my mind there are only two possible responses to staring directly at that number, and I have experienced both.  The first is crushing despair in which you allow yourself to consider the temporal blink your life really is.  The other, and the only viable choice is to self-assess, make deliberate choices, and live with the urgency people normally reserve for house fires.

So, I started with my phone.  I am not a fan of being bossed around, but here I am like one of Pavlov's dogs every time it dings or rings or beeps.  A recent study has revealed that the average person with a smartphone spends ninety minutes a day calling, texting, tweeting, and surfing the web.  Do a little multiplication and that is 1,423.5 days.  That is almost five percent of your time here on earth. 

I put new batteries into my watches.  I had stopped wearing a watch because the clock was right there on the lock screen of my phone.  But how many times have you looked at your phone for the time and gotten pulled in by a text, email, or app?  Used correctly, my phone is remarkable and helpful.  I like being able to send a quick text, having a camera with me everywhere I go, and finding my way with GPS when I make a wrong turn.  Used incorrectly it is burdensome.  It is exhausting having something constantly prodding for your attention and demanding more of your time, forcing you to respond that instant and do things you had not set out to do. 

I want to be deliberate with my money and purchases as well.  When my wife and I decide we need to buy something, we try to get it used. Most of my clothes are from second-hand stores. Many of our Christmas presents, including our son's favorite, were previously owned. This simple process of tracking down quality used items rather than buying new brings me a great deal of happiness.  I look at the world my kids will inherit and know that I am reducing my carbon footprint and helping keep useable goods out of a landfill. I am saving hundreds of dollars that can be spent instead on experiences like travel, concerts, museums, and charity. I am sending a message to my students who may not be able to afford the newest fashions that it does not matter, that it is not about clothes.  I am breaking the grip of materialism and choosing what I want to give my money to.

Next is my house.  We are purging our house aggressively and with great joy.  To give you an idea of the scope of this, I have already driven more than five packed carloads of stuff to donation centers and the local dump.  Something as simple as getting dressed is easier because everything in my closet is something I actually like, and I can see it all.  My kids have toys they actually play with, and a place to put them away.  The old forgotten toys are now in the hands of kids for whom they are new and exciting.  Every time I take a bag out of the house I feel freer.  There is a great TED Talk called "Less Stuff, More Happiness" by Graham Hill that talks about ruthlessly editing your life, culling out some of the stuff that bogs us down.  We are going through every drawer and every shelf and freeing ourselves of the burden of all that stuff.  Imagine a house filled only with your favorite things.  Imagine the lightness of owning only what you need. 

One of the biggest immediate results of these changes is that I am not telling my kids to hold on quite as frequently.  For any parents reading this, think about that.  Childhood is fleeting and utterly beautiful.  We all know this, but we don't always respect it.  Right now, my sons want to share with me every single thing that excites them.  Too often, I respond by sending the message that it is not important to me to share that moment.  Don't get me wrong, some of what they want to share is mind-numbingly boring.  I can only pretend to be a ninja for so long.  But, I want to be deliberate about those choices.  Is what I am doing worth what I might miss?  For how many years will they turn to me with such excitement?  How many times will I be able to really watch and listen to their laughter?  Do I want to respond to an email or their excitement?  These are deliberate choices.

Phones and stuff in my house are just the start.  Making deliberate choices about who I spend time with, how I interact with people, how I use all of my limited time matters.   I want to be connected to people in meaningful ways so I have been writing hand-written letters, and receiving the most thoughtful and amazing responses.  I am giving people I speak with my full attention.  I am thinking more carefully about my classroom, my lessons, and the students I am so fortunate to teach.  I am trying very hard to smile more. 

The clock is running and it is running fast.  We are being chased by Death, and he is going to catch us.  For all of us, it will be sooner than we like.  We must find the wasted moments and cut them out like a cancer.  With the time we have here, we must be deliberate in what we do. 

14,582 to go.  Tick tock.  Tick tock. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Rules, as They Apply to Serena

“ Well, she DID break the rules ,” some people are saying. This past Saturday, Serena Williams was penalized in ways that were unprecedented for a Grand Slam final. Some want to spin the narrative that technically Serena deserved what she got. That is an oversimplification that needs more careful thought. Her first warning for coaching was justified, technically , by the fact that her coach was indeed gesturing for her to go to the net. Set aside for now the fact that men are rarely, if ever, called for similar behavior. Her second infraction, resulting in a point deduction, was for smashing her racket. She did. The Grand Slam rulebook defines “verbal abuse” as any statement about an official that “implies dishonesty or is derogatory, insulting or otherwise abusive.” So for her third infraction -- calling Ramos a “liar” and a “thief” -- she technically broke that rule resulting in a game deduction late in the second set. What people need to acknowledge is how sexism and racis...

An Open Letter to My Seventh-Grade Flag Football Team

Boys, I have coached most of you for years now, and I want you to know that I have never been more proud than when you lost 16-60 this past weekend.  You heard that right.  When the opposing coach, up by more than forty points, told his team to play “without restraint” you continued to play with it. That is more important than any win.  Quick vocab lesson since I am an English teacher: Restraint is a noun. It means self-control. Staying under control is one of the most important lessons games like flag football can teach you. Not exercising control is what leads to penalties in games and all sorts of bad things in the real world.  While the other team continued to launch passes to the endzone, and comments across the line of scrimmage, you maintained control. The one moment it boiled over, you immediately apologized. You showed restraint, and that is why I am proud.  You are going to face stuff like that your whole lives. You are going to come across people who ...

Commencement 2019

Like any job, there are days as a teacher when I wonder if I am just wasting my time. Then there are days like today, when I say goodbye to a class of seniors who remind me through their character, intelligence, and grace why I keep coming back.  In the tradition I started several years ago, my seniors ended their year by delivering ten minute long commencement speeches. Every year, I write one as well. Here is this year's.  This is the last time I will see you before you walk out onto that field Monday evening for a ceremony that recognizes not just your completion of four years of school, but the completion of the first phase of your life. While I am sure there is some sadness and maybe some anxiety, I hope there is also powerful mix of pride, expectation, and joy as you walk together out to that field. I hope you see in that ceremony the promise a future entirely of your own making. Others have run your life up to this point. Not anymore. Based on average life spans, yo...